Heirraw another laugh :D

1.
It seems that in Tokyo a police inspector retired after 35 years as Japan's Number One foe of pickpockets. He was so expert at picking pockets that to save time when he saw a pickpocket pick a pocket he picked the pickpocket's pocket and repocketed the pickings in the pocket of the man whose pockets the pickpocket had picked, and went on about his business without saying a word.

2.
In order to test whether a man was mad, a psychiatrist called him into a room. He darkened the room and switched on the torchlights. "Would you climb on this beam of light?"
This man looked at the psychiatrist, "You think I am mad. Of course I will not climb on the beam of light."
The psychiatrist looked at him, "Sounds like you've pass the test. You are not mad after all. You can leave the asylum. But before you go, as a matter of interest, would you tell me, why won't you climb on that beam of light?"
The man looked at the psychiatrist and say, "I am not that stupid or foolish. If I climbed on the beam of light and if you switched off the torchlight when I'm half way through, I will fall down."

3.
Man: Excuse me, I'm looking for a curtain for my computer screen. Could you help me?
Salesman: But, sir, you don't need curtains for your computers!
Man: But my computer has Windows!

4.
Sergeant: Why did you salute that refridgerator?
Private: Because it was General Electric.
Sergeant: Why did you salute that jeep?
Private: Because it was General Motors.
Sergeant: Why did you salute those construction men?
Private: Because they were General Workers.

5.
A psychiatrist was making his routine visits to the psychiatric wards. When he walked into a room, he found a patient, Peter, sitting near an empty desk as if he was reading a book. Another patient, John was hanging himself from the ceiling, by his feet.
Psychiatrist: What are you doing, Peter?
Peter: I'm reading a book.
Psychiatrist: And what about your friend, John?
Peter: He's acting as a light bulb.
Psychiatrist: Peter, don't you see John's face turning red all over? You should get him down from the ceiling before he hurts himself further.
Peter: And what about me? Read in the dark?