Life

An hour ago I was so bored from my work of researching for cases which cannot be found so I stopped and went on my blog and looked at my old posts. 2010 posts. Lol. Yup really bored lol.

And I found that I could actually write better, express myself better with words previously. Maybe that's why I stopped blogging. Or is it because I stopped blogging that I couldn't express myself with words that good anymore?

Lol anyway.

Found this post.

This was me 7 years ago. Ok maybe 6 years plus ago. When I was still young, when my age group was still in the first category, when I just completed my NS...

To think that I've actually completed my Law degree in 2015 (!!!) when I didn't even have the confidence to take it up when I was 18 and a half. Hahahaha. It's really a miracle I pulled through my degree.

I think I was really quite stressed up on what I wanted to take. I was going to give up on Law and proceed to register with TARC for a Business course. Cheaper, easier, less stress. Whatever happened to that plan I cannot recall anymore lol.

But if I had taken Business at that time, I would've started working earlier I think. Haha. Now that I took up Law, I'm still stuck with chambering before I can actually earn proper salary. Oh well. That was the choice the 19 YO me made. Lol. I also cannot recall why did I decided to fuck it and just register with Law

Oh wait maybe I do remember... I think it's because mummy was a bit sad when I told her I am going to register with TARC for a Business course instead of the Law. Lol. And cos Fei asked me to just go for it if that's what I like. Wtf.

So one day I just went up to the 19th floor of the UMNO building with mummy and registered for the course. I was really brave wtf choosing a course like this alone with no friends. And then I kinda stuck around for a few years till the end of CLP lolol. I was with ATC for 6 years!! A Levels up to CLP omg am I loyal or am I loyal hahaha. ATC Penang all the way!

I am writing this post to remind my future self or anyone else who reads this hahaha that anything's possible. Don't let our own doubts beat us! We can do it!

And currently at this time of writing, I'm down with Hand, Foot & Mouth Disease (HFMD) sigh. Whoever the fuck that passed this to me, I hope you won't pass it to anyone else. It's really quite horrible. I hope I'll recover in time for the convo in KL on the 12th of April! *prays*

Thankful

On the 3rd day of CNY in January I went up to Kek Lok Si with Fei. When we were at the foot of the Pagoda I went to take a knock at the ginormous wishing bell. I prayed hard and wished that I would hear from the firm that I asked for a chambering position since early January and get it.

I was rejected on the 5th day of CNY. I was down and I was sad.

On the 10th day of CNY in February I brought mummy and bro up to Kek Lok Si. Mummy asked both of us to knock the bell and I said I've already knocked it on the 3rd day and it didn't help me to get what I wished for. :( Bro went to knock and told me to be patient cos "things like that take time, good things don't come quick". =_=

For the rest of the days I kept sending resumes to different firms and went on Jobstreet to see if there are any firms at all which posted a job posting for chambies. I initially didn't want to just simply send my resumes to all the firms cos I didn't want to land myself in somewhere I might not like and get stuck for 9 months. Yes, sure, you can apply for a change of master, but what if your master isn't happy about it and starts being an ass? But desperate times call for desperate measures lol so I just sent to every firms that I came across.

None of the firms that I sent my resume to replied. A few replied but the replies were to inform me that they're not hiring. Yes, thank you for letting me know, I appreciate it. Those that don't even bother to reply - where's your basic manners?

Finally I got a call. And another interview invitation. Beyond happy.

To cut long story short, I'm now no longer jobless! I started work on the first of March and so far I'm quite happy! I guess good things really don't come quick.

Thank you wishing bell for making my wish of getting a position in a good place come true.

My boss brought me to Penang Club for lunch yesterday and I was really happy! Not cos she brought me to Penang Club la lol but because she brought me out for lunch and talked to me. Tho it's for work. :D I think it's a good start? Hehe. The photo above was taken when we were there. She was on the phone and I took this photo. :D

And Fei waited for me to finish my work for 1.5 hours+ before he brought me to Constant Gardener to chill. :D Thank you my fat man for always being so patient with me. I don't know how he does it. Hahaha.

Good things don't come quick and patience is always a virtue.

Thankful that I'm so blessed, thankful that people around me can stand my very crazy temperament, thankful that mummy and Fei are always supporting me in whatever I wanna do.

Thank you Buddha, thank you Kuan Yin, thank you mummy, thank you Fei, thank you you all.

Turning negative into positive thoughts

1. Recently (more like few months ago lol) I started finding out slowly, day by day, piece by piece of the clothes that I own, that I've...

GROWN FAT.

A LOT.

FML instantly fell into the strong suction of depression. I'll get agitated and pissed if the pants after I put on looks like it's snickering at me. And some long pants, I tried them on last week and I couldn't fit in a few...

*SCREAMS OF HORROR*

But after a while I thought to myself, getting fat means I'm currently living a quite-good life. No starvation, no working like a bull (yet). There's always food around to keep my stomach filled and full. So for that I'm thankful.


2. Phone after the latest update to iOS 9 became laggy.

Went to the Apple Community to complain and it seemed that a lot of people are facing the same problems. But until now Apple still hasn't rolled out a new update to fix these laggy problems yet. Which really irritates me.

However these lagginess are not really serious, and at least I have a functioning smart phone. Other people surviving on this earth on a daily/weekly basis probably don't even get a chance of owning a phone. :( So for that I'm again thankful.


3. I really want a Macbook.

Especially the new Macbook. The gold one. T_____T But it's fucking expensive with all the tax going up and currency going down. So I can only admire it everytime I pass by Switch, or by going to Apple's website lololol.

But actually I don't really need a laptop cos Fei bought me Mini last year and I also have this awesome PC already...

So Mini is for my daily use (all the time) and if there are some stuffs which cannot be done by Mini I'll just turn on my PC and get them done on my PC.

So what more can I ask for hor, I'm thankful.


4. Things I bought at full price are now marked downs.

It's all Year End Sale (YES) and End Season Sale (ESS) everywhere since the year is coming to an end.

IT'S DECEMBER ALREADY CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??! THE LAST TIME I BLOGGED IT WAS JUST THE MID OF NOVEMBER WTF?!??!?! WHERE HAS ALL THE TIME GONE TO????? T_____________T

Anyway earlier in October I got this pair of fucking gorgeous Charles and Keith sandals that I fell in love at first sight with and then last month during their sale I saw it's on sale already. =_____=

20%. =____=

Remained cool all the while before getting home. And once I reached home I erupted a bit. Ok never mind.

Then last week I went window shopping with mummy and we happened to enter Miss Selfridge. Guess what?

THE DRESS I BOUGHT FOR MY CONVO WENT ON A 50% MARK DOWN WTF IS THIS NONSENSE??!?!?!?!?!

I couldn't believe it ok!!!!! On the very first day of MS sale it wasn't on sale!!!!! I WAS SO BEWILDERED WTF??! AND SUDDENLY IT WENT DOWN TO 50%?!

T_____________________________T

My heart ached and hurt for mummy. T_____T

But then I spent some time thinking again, it's ok, because so coincidentally the size for the dress I took was UK12, and earlier when I asked, the staff said that when the stock came, there's ONLY ONE piece of UK12. Ok my size is exclusive lol I felt so much better then.

And as for the sandals, I think it's the last pair already cos I took size 10 wtf. Only ladies with giant feet can understand how I feel everytime I go shopping for shoes.

So yah, for that I'm thankful, thankful that I'm able to get things I like that are right for me. Some people spend hundreds of thousands and they still aren't able to get hold of the things that they want.


5. CLP just bashed me with tonnes of stress a few nights ago.

I'm wondering why the heck did I take up CLP like how I wondered to myself why the heck did I take up LLB.

CLP is like 4x LLB. WHY?

But I should be positive now. I shouldn't be stressing myself yet. It's only December. Like one of our lecturers said, "If you stress yourself now, you'll burnout by the time January is here."

So since it's December the month of Joy...

LET'S JUST FORGET ABOUT ALL THE STRESS AND HAVE FUN ENJOYING THIS JOYOUS SEASON WITH JOYOUS ATMOSPHRE EVERYWHERE!!!

Another hazy update

Wah my post title damn cincai. Hahahaha. But I really can't think of any other titles to put cos this is gon really be just an update, and like a combination for all things I have to say.

FML IT'S OCTOBER.

I just realised that I mentioned in the last post that it's September already. Well... It's October already. Where the heck did all the time has gone to?

Anyway, October means Koala's birthday, and Sao Monkey's birthday. :) It also means Christmas is coming!! EMBRACE YOURSELVES PEOPLE!!!

Also, the haze is still fucking here, it just refuses to fucking leave. In the past week we've been blessed with clear skies, but all of a sudden a few days ago the fucking haze came back. And now as I'm typing this post the haze outside is thickening as time passes on wtf. Really very pissed. =_____=

Okay here goes.

1. I GOT A DSLR!

It's a fucking Sony, it's fucking sleek, it's fucking sexy & it's smokin' hot! T_____T So happy that I couldn't stop snapping. Actually there's really nothing for me to snap so I just basically snapped everything and anything. Lolol.

Have been neglecting my T900 too sorry T900 I still love you, gimme some time with your new bro first okay. :B

2. I GOT MY AIR MAX!

HI THERE I'VE BEEN LOOKING SO FORWARD TO SEEING YOU FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS!

But I still haven't worn it out. Hahahaha. No reasons for me to wear them out yet. Weekends are fully occupied now so no weekend outings with mummy. :(

3. Watched The Intern.

Starring Anne Hathaway and Robert de Niro.

ANNE HATHAWAY WHY YOU SO PRETTY??? T______________T

The whole movie while watching the movie I was also admiring her outfits, damn classy damn chio!! It's like modern, casual and sleek with a classy twist. And she's so fair. T_T

This movie has quite a lot of messages to deliver, so you should watch if you're undecided as to whether you should watch it. But if you've decided not to, hey it's your call. :B

But at the end of the day, we should just follow our dreams and not sacrifice them up for a possibility.

4. Finally visited baby Hana for the first time!

Fei's been misleading me the whole time that her name's Hannah when her name's Hana. =_____=

She's so cute and soft and adorbs and lovely and pretty! T_____T Want my future baby to be like her. Look at her eyes and eyelashes!!!

And her cheeks!!!

Look at 'em delicious looking toes. ^ v ^"" Not to forget they're also super soft. I kept playing with her feet. T_T

Okay la okay la let you do whatever you wanna do, sit until like that also can lolol. Here she's focusing 100% on the Hokkien TV show. ._. so focused that she couldn't be bothered with me and my phone.

5. Watched Everest today.

Based on a true story. :(

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD.

I think it's very sad, because 2 persons died because of 1 person. :( If you're physically unfit half way through the journey, please just turn back and stop insisting. I know it's difficult especially when you've completed 75% of the journey with just another 25% of it to go to reach the peak, but at least you completed 75%. :"(

Everest is definitely not a place for people to fool around.

6. Did e-Recovery on my old laptop.

This Acer laptop, it's been with me ever since my very old PC broke down in year 2010. This laptop accompanied me from Dec 2010 - July 2014.

Actually I started not using it that often after Fei got me Mini. This laptop is also the reason Fei got me Mini. You see, this laptop, it's all fine, I even played online game with it, leveling up and all, but one fine day the screen started to go malfunction. I was so depressed because I definitely could find no way to get a brand new laptop. :( This laptop costed me RM1699 and I bought it myself with my hard earned money. T_____T

So I think Fei actually cannot tahan with all my complaints everyday that he went to get me Mini with his hard earned money. Hahaha. Thank you Fei. :*

Mini was a present from Fei for my 2014 birthday. So ever since my birthday last year, I've been using Mini 98% of my time. Unless something is required to be accessed with a laptop or computer, I wouldn't touch this laptop cos it just malfunctioned to a point where I'd throw the damn laptop to the wall if I was cruel enough. T__________T

And in July 2014 I finally had a proper set of PC again. So obviously the more reason for this laptop to be neglected.

One fine day when mum and I were travelling along Penang Rd we saw this shop that says they'd like to take in second hand laptops or PCs, whether old, broken or new. So mum said to sell this laptop away and get a little cashback rather than keeping it in her room to collect dust. I actually agreed but never brought myself to actually settle this issue, because..

(1) It's really difficult to get this laptop to function properly with the screen keeps on blacking out. I have to turn on and force off it for a few times before the screen'd function properly. And Fei finally get to experience this today.

(2) It's been with me for so long. Mum and I watched TVB dramas with it, I played game with it, Chuan watched anime with it, we surfed the net with it. I did and submitted my compulsory assignment for degree year 1 with it as well. So it feels wrong to let it leave.

(3) It's functioning fine, it's still functioning smooth after we did the e-recovery on it just now. It's just the screen that's a problem. All the more reason to not let it leave. But purchasing it with RM1699 of course it'd be not worth it to spend RM800 to fix just its screen with no guarantee that this problem wouldn't be repeating. Heck, even if the screen on a phone like Samsung or Apple broke down, people'd probably just get a new one. (There are exceptional people though lol.)

So we finally did e-recovery on it. Default factory version. :( It's time to go, Acer. Thank you for accompanying us.

My home country

I'm supposed to be watching the China drama, Empress of China right now instead of hitting furiously on my keyboard on my computer right now. Just came home and had my super early dinner. Back from fetching bro to his orthodontic treatment. I was waiting for him in the car doing nothing, scrolling through my Facebook feeds.

And suddenly I came across this article that was shared by 4 of my friends with captions.

So obviously I clicked on it and read the article. I didn't finish it. I was halfway through when I started fuming. =_= I glanced through till the end and read the comments that people left.

At least the comments made me happy. There are still people who are willing to defend our country.
(Note: not the system.)

So while fuming I also shared the article with captions.

Because no matter how much I'm always feeling pissed at how our country's system works, I'll always be a Malaysian. I grew up here, I finished my education here, I start my career here. Of course I'm not turning into an expert all of a sudden. I have never taken any like or interest in politics and neither will I now.

But there is one thing that I do not like about this writer/author. What rights does he have to criticize on Malaysians like that? I do not deny that our country's system doesn't work well. I do not deny he did make some good points in his article. But he has no rights to criticize us that badly and also making sweeping statements on all Malaysians.

Points:

"I am a British national and have been based in Malaysia for the last two years with an internationally acclaimed biotechnology company."

Wow so you've been living in Malaysia for the last two years. From these two years' experience you definitely has a lot to say about us. Wow.

British national? British expat? You're just writing from behind a computer on a keyboard, sir. What's the proof? Where's the proof?

"I am boldly saying that throughout all the countries I have visited so far, Malaysia is the worst because it is inhabited by bad politicians and even worse people."

Yes, there are bad politicians in our country. But every fucking country has bad politicians. Bribery happens all around the world, dear Mr. Experienced-from-travelling-across-the-globe.

And saying us, citizens of Malaysia 'even worse people'? Do you even fucking know EVERY citizen in Malaysia? Just because people that you come to know or socialize with are noobs doesn't mean everyone else that you DON'T know are noobs.

"World champion keyboard warriors"

Now you're saying Malaysians are keyboard warriors. Aren't you now by criticising on us through this article behind the computer?

"My contract in this country is at its tail-end. I had the option of extending my stay that I have gladly declined. Malaysians are too shallow-minded to fix anything. Instead of speaking on ways to solve the current crisis, Malaysians are only interested in clicking the delete button and hope a reboot will bring improvement. Keep on hoping, Malaysia."

Thank you for your words of encouragement.

"Malaysians have been awarded as the worst drivers in the world."

I went to Google 'the worst drivers in the world' and the results gave me this. No Malaysia. 'nuff said.

What I have to say:
Of course I'm no expert. I'm just a student who just finished my final year exam. I'm just a student who's waiting for my results to come out and give me heart attack.

But I will always have a bit of faith and hope in my home country.

Because when the people themselves hold no faith and hope in their country, that's when the country itself will fail.

And to friends that agree(d) 100% with this article, I have nothing to say. Everyone has their freedom to believe in whatever they want to believe in. But bear in mind, we all finished our education in this country, at least up to high school.

For you all whose parents could afford to send you out of Malaysia to overseas to continue your studies, to complete your degree or even masters studies, good for you.

For you all whose parents could not afford to send you out to the overseas, fret not, we still managed to complete our degree studies in our home country, didn't we?

For you all whose parents COULD afford to send you out to the overseas and YOU yourself CHOSE NOT to leave Malaysia to overseas to study due to some personal reasons (homesick/boyfriend etc), shut the fuck up and swallow up all your complaints. You had a choice and you chose to forgo it. Suck it up. Stop complaining. You chose to finish your degree studies in Malaysia. No one forced you, there's no undue influence or duress. Had you jumped on the chance to go overseas to study, you probably wouldn't have to stay in Malaysia, complaining about your country everyday. You probably could just stay overseas and start working there after finishing your education, getting your visas etc.

Yah. Actually what I have to say are mostly for people that keep complaining (non stop) about our country when they had the chance to just leave and they chose not to.

Okay finally I feel better. Off to watch my Chinese drama now.

Bye.

Being thankful post-resignation

2 years ago today was the first day I stepped into Dorothy Perkins (not as a customer lol) as a newly recruited staff.

Time flies it's already been 2 years since that day haha and I'm obviously no longer working there.

Well thank you for hiring me, for giving me a chance to experience real experience (DP being one of the high street brands of UK) of being a part time coordinator. I had seen different types of customers/people while working there, handling them and socializing with them. There were the good ones and the bad ones. Trained my patience while dealing with them too lol.

Actually I think I learned quite many things while working there. Among all:

• increased socializing skills (though I'll only use it when necessary me being the anti-social me);
• able to recognise clothing materials better than any person now working there (except for the supervisor/manager of course);
• UK companies' marketing/products allocation methods;
• what do the people in the higher level do most of the time (note to self: MUSN'T be like that myself if I ever get into the higher level of offices);
• how to come out with points for reports (weekly and monthly lol)

So far, I can only think of these cos they're the more important ones I think, those that I could relate to while working. So yeah.

Visiting the shops nowadays as a customer/ex-staff is quite fun. Cos I now know the people working there and I'm able to ask for things easier without them giving me the weird face hahaha. And also because I understand well how they work too. :D

Yup, definitely a good thing that I brought up all my courage to ask for a job 2 years ago. Hahahaha.

Toodles!

Why did i take up law

I'm actually waiting for my companion in the game to finish his training to assist me in missions so I shall spend my free time here. Hahahaha. Can't settle the missions alone without him nowadays. T_____T Now I know how important it is to have a companion and how wrong I was to say that he's stupid. T_____T Sorry companion.

Anyway back to my tweets the other day.

#1: Dear Outside World, trapped in finals. Send help. -Student

Yeah it's actually pretty much what I was going through and experiencing in the whole May. Lolol. Actually, every May ever since 2012's is pretty much like this. May 2012 was my AL exams. May 2013 my degree first year's, 2014 second and this year final. They're really not good for our mental health.

#2: Procrastination is not a habit. It is a way of life, and I'm really good at it.

*COUGHS* I don't procrastinate in serious matters, but this... to think that I did not take my examinations seriously... T____T NO I certainly did not and do not mean that. It's just that I had no motivation at all to get started with my studies. :(

Compared to other classmates who studied everyday, visited the library everyday after class... Lol I'm not even gon say what I was compared to them. Perhaps I'm braver to take risks like that. LOL. I'm obviously making myself to feel better. Yeap. But all these while I've been like that, ever since primary/high school. D:

#3: The only thing a student cares to learn is what will be on the exam.

Who would disagree with this? Especially in this course, where the books are thicker than Harry Potter's series all stacked together. Ok I exaggerated but you get the idea. T_____T If they were story books I would've happily digested them all. But TEXT BOOKS? ...

#4: To do list: Figure out why i decided to go to law school.

WHY? :(((( After all these years of torture, I can't even recall what's the main reason I took law because all I've been doing was asking myself: WHY DID I TAKE THIS COURSE instead of reminding myself the main reason I took this course and motivate myself to study. =_____=

But I think the main reason why I took up this course was because I wanna see how justice is upheld? It was my dream to see justice being upheld after watching those TVB dramas when I was young. =_____= But as I grew, issues and matters and incidents that came up and were happening around the world proved that there's actually no justice served most of the time? Not totally none but most of the time. Still, I don't know why did I retain that faith in the law and went to read law. D: D: D: Which then produced and gave myself such unnecessary stress and pressure.

But then taking this course helped me to understand a lot of things. It's not really a bad thing. So even if I don't get the desired results for CLP I'll still be very happy cos actually I really just want a PASS. So that I would be able to get a cert and work. =____= I don't expect much like other classmates.

Some decided not to risk their class honours and decided to skip Jurisprudence. I didn't. Even though I was so stressed up that I had wind in my stomach, vomited few times a day before and also before my exam, I just wanted to finish the paper and be done with it. (Fei had to endure with my shit every damn year. Hahahaha. :D) I don't care if I have a 2nd class or 3rd class, I just want a PASS. As long as I can get a decent job, even if it's not high pay I won't mind.

To me, I think that results will only affect your securing of your FIRST job opportunity. For subsequent opportunities (when you wanna jump to another company etc), most employers will focus more on your abilities to do work, to perform, and your experience in work. So I shall just stick with my plan.

So why did I really take up law? No idea, maybe like what I said above, to see that justice is served. Or maybe, so that I would be able to earn a lot of money and travel around the world (biggest dream). Or perhaps I just want to be able to build my own dream house and give mummy a good life?

It's not wrong to take up courses in the hope that it that may help you to earn a lot of money in the future. Money and education, they're 2 sides to a coin. Without money you can't further your education in today's world. Without education you can't possibly earn a lot unless you're a super genius and can come up with some thing that the society has not invented or come up with yet. So maybe it's really because of the money that I took this course. I don't know. Hahaha. But for now, I've made peace with my inner self of the fact that I probably won't be able to earn a lot of money with my pass-only results.

Still happy!

I think my post title is a bit irrelevant lolol but it's okay, no one cares *bitter* hahahaha. No lol I still think it's relevant. :3

Kay gotta go back to my game lolol goodbye! :3

601.

Everyone's plain fucking happy.
And it's actually very annoying and irritating to see all these feeds and status saying that they're REALLY REALLY HAPPY, it's REALLY REALLY UNEXPECTED.
ZZZZZZZZZ.
Everyone's just plain fucking happy.
Except me.
x

TOMORROW TOMORROW AND TOMORROW

Good morningafternoon world.
Considering that I just woke up 1 hour and 25 minutes ago, I'm still feeling blur right now.
But there's 1 thing I'm certain of, which is TOMORROW. TOMORROW. AND TOMORROW.
OMGG. THE DAY 2009 FORM 5 PEOPLE ARE WAITING FOR.
Some anxiously, some nervously, some timidly, some anticipating-ly, some happily, some negatively.
And I'm 1 of the NEGATIVE ones.
I just can't stop myself from feeling SCARED.
OMG. Meen Loo's feeling scared to get results. For the first time in her life. LOL.
Hmm.. still negative. Can't wipe that feeling off my mind. :)
Oh well. GOD, PLEASE? PRETTY PLEASE? I hope I'll get at least 5As. :(
I want and I hope I can. Sigggghhhh.
SPMMMM SHUCKS.
I'm still still still negative all over the results thingy despite the fact primary buddy keeps on giving me encouragement. LOL.
Thanks anyway. :D

King of Pop.

Went to GP, saw the limited edition of tribute to Michael Jackson. Wanted to buy, but 20 bucks not cheap leh.. Called mum, she said okay and she'll gimme back the 20 bucks! XD Went to buy then.

Finished 44 pages before I onlined and write this post..

*

A Tribute To
Michael Jackson
An Extraordinary Man Who Lived A Life of Infinite Passion

A Tribute to Michael Jackson. (1958 - 2009)

"If you enter this world knowing you are loved, and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with."
-Michael Jackson.


"......... I do not mince my words in my appreciation for Michael Jackson and I do not apologise for my disbelief at the many accusations made at his character. He was a child in a man's body and he wanted to live like one. He built a dreamlike play-fantasy ranch for himself. So what? It was his money and his dream. He had many pets, all kinds of pets. So what? I know many other people who have many more pets, yet everyone leaves them alone. He had plastic surgery. So what? Tell me how many celebrities have NOT had plastic surgery to the point of disfiguring themselves? ............ He loved to surround himself with children. So what? He considered himself a child and children like to be surrounded by other children, have sleepovers, play games, get silly. ........."
-A part from 'The Gift' by Beatrice Nirmala Adaikalaraj in Passions Special Limited Edition, A Tribute to Michael Jackson.
I agree with this Editor-in-Chief of Passions. Very agree. Why do people only talk bad about MJ but not the others just because he had plastic surgeries?


"They did it to try and belittle me, to try and to take away my pride. But I went through the whole system with them. And at the end, I - I wanted the public to know that I was okay, even though I was hurting."
-Michael Jackson.
He was hurting, yet he wanted the public to believe that he was okay. I believe many cannot do that. I believe many are too shelfish to want the others to believe that they are okay. Many want care from others. Yet MJ just kept everything to himself. He'd rather himself hurting than letting the others, the public to worry.


"Before I would hurt a child, I would slit my wrists."
-Michael Jackson.
He was accused of molestation, was it the truth? Did anyone even try to know what actually happened? Did anyone even bother to speak to him one on one, trying to understand and know what actually happened?


"Why can't you share your bed? The most loving thing to do is to share your bed with someone. It's very charming. It's very sweet. It's what the whole world should do."
-Michael Jackson.
He's always thinking about the others only, but not himself only.


"Speaking to Oprah Winfrey in 1993, Jackson admitted to crying from loneliness and even vomiting when he saw his father during his childhood, such was the fear and terror Joseph Jackson created in his children. And Michael, although he was the star of the 5, was not spared his wrath. His brother Marlon revealed that Joseph once "held Michael upside down by one leg and pummelled him over and over again with his hand, hitting him on his back and buttocks".
"His childhood was a particularly sensitive point for him, and although he gave some credit for his success to Joseph's disciplining, it was obvious that the incidents were traumatic to him as he broke down in tears during a 2003 interview with BBC correspondent Martin Bashir."
-A part from 'HIStory: The little boy with the voice of gold - The Jackson 5 years' in Passions Special Limited Edition, A Tribute to Michael Jackson.
He didn't have any pleasant childhood memories, that's why he's always surrounded by children, playing with children, fooling around with children. He wanted these children to have pleasant childhood memories. Is that really that bad?


"Because I wanted to have a place that I could create everything that I never had as a child. So, you see rides. You see animals. There's a movie theater."
-Michael Jackson.
All he wanted was letting the children to enjoy and to have a happy childhood. That was all. Is it too much to ask for?


"A rock star having multiple sex partners is normal... it is to be expected, like it is part and parcel of the lifestyle. But playing tag and having pillow fights with little children was seen to be unnerving because no normal adult would want to spend so much time with children, would they?"
"Perhaps the best answer to the earlier question - as to why he chose to spend so much time with children and play games with them - is the simplest. He did it because it was fun. If we were to just recall our childhood days and dreams and remember what we used to think of as thrilling and exciting, it would not be much different from Jackson's. Fun fairs, carnivals, cotton candies, ice cream, Ferris wheels, roller coasters, TV cartoons, chocolates... and most important of all, freedom. Freedom from worries, freedom from pain, freedom to forget the harsh realities of life and to escape into a fantasy world where there is always laughter and happiness."
-A part from 'HIStory: The eyes of a child' in Passions Special Limited Edition, A Tribute to Michael Jackson.
He loved having fun. It's obvious. He loved children.


"Without a doubt, Michael Jackson would go down as one of the great - if not the greatest - humanitarian in music history. In fact, few if any of his musical peers could match his legacy of charitable deeds and works. During his lifetime, he donated more than US$300 million to 39 different charities - many of them dealing with children."
"He showed that his care was genuine by spending his time with disadvantaged and ill children, especially visiting them in hospitals and orphanages. While many stars would do that for the inevitable photo opportunity it provides, there was a certain element of authenticity about Jackson's efforts. It was as the spokesperson for a Bangkok orphanage which Michael Jackson visited and spent time with the children said, "They (the children) don't know him as a pop star. To them he is just a very nice man who came here to offer hope"."
-A part from 'HIStory: The man in the mirror' in Passions Special Limited Edition, A Tribute to Michael Jackson.
What do you people think now? Still a bad guy? Or changed your opinion? Like, don't judge a book by its cover kay? Understand him before you even want to make your own assumptions or accusations. Why did people keep on accusing him on molesting the child? He was backstabbed by those closest to him. Do you people even knew what actually happened before accusing him of the child molestation?


"Yeah, Wacko Jacko, where did that come from? Some English tabloid. I have a heart and I have feelings. I feel that when you do that to me. It's not nice."
-Michael Jackson.
Yeh, I agree. Wacko Jacko? That's rude. That's mean. He was backstabbed, no one (okay, maybe some people) in the public knew what actually happened and then this nickname was given to him. I mean, even if the truth was that he did molest the kid, but that nickname was still a lil too harsh. Any and every human on this Earth has feelings of their own. What's more, were the public so sure that he did molest that kid?


There's more, but I'm not writing anymore. Just one last one.


"I just want to say to fans in every vorner of the earth, even nationality, every race, every language:
I love you from the bottom of my heart, I would love your prayers and your goodwill, and please be patient and be with me and believe in me because I am completely, completely innocent."
-Michael Jackson.

I'd like to say, AGAIN,:
REST IN PEACE, MJ.
WE'LL REMEMBER YOU.

iMiss.

7thAPR2009, rained heavily. Picture captured.

Don't you think the scenery of rain is actually very nice, no? If you don't think so then maybe you should go enjoy the scenery of rain more... Heh. I was enjoying watching the rain this morning at school. Y agrees that rain is a nice scene. :)

Sigh. The rainy scene reminds me of Genting. :( I miss Genting a lot, serious. I miss 1stOCT2008 seriously. I miss the time when we were having our late dinner at Burger King. I miss the first ever time I was screaming all my heart out, riding on Corkscrew. I miss the time when I was laughing at Shern for being such a scaredy cat, not daring to join us in Corkscrew, Pirate Ship, Spinner. Though Wen did manage to convince him to join us. ;D

I will surely be going to another Genting trip next year. Kiam, him, Zhokong, Wen, Shern, Y, Z, Orang Jujur, Ah Boo, Singsing, Han..........

Will be looking forward to that day, if possible. :)

MYOB.

Me ish going ter give Yan a nickname. =) It shall be Bushwoman. =) XDXD Inside stuffs. XD

Aahhh.. Why the hell did so many things happened today? Lol. First it was Bushwoman.. Who got depressed since like a few days ago.. Lol.. Then she ki siao-ed and kept on laughing whever she sees Kas and I.. -___- After that Kas cried.. Brrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Hmm.. Well bout Bushwoman's case I can say that in the beginning I already didn't trust them. Lol. They loves spreading stuffs. I think.. In my opinion. I don't think they're the type that can keep secret or keep quiet of these stuffs. And yeah Bushwoman doesn't do anything like that so why are they being so pathetic and act like sua pa kau(s)? They just keep on looking at her with those stupid undescribe-able expressions and talk and talk and talk behind, her pointing at her back and stuffs. To you people it might be something interesting to talk about but what bout to THE ONE you all are TALKING ABOUT?? You people are just friggin giving her A LOT OF STRESS. She's now so depressed. -________- Can't you people just leave her alone? School is already giving her stress... And now you stupid friggin people are adding more and more stress for her. Fcuk you people. -_________- Not being understanding at all. MYOB, aite?

AND THEN. As for Kas'... That's really bullshit. Our dear teacher - *clears throat* - was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo........... GRRRR. Thinking bout it makes me angry again. Kas just asked what's the use of typing or writing out the script for oral... Kas just wanted to know the reason and why's she doing it.. And our dear teacher misunderstood her and said that Kas offended her. WHAT THE HECK?? Hello miss-or-madam-or-whatever-crap, who wants to offend you? Ugh. You are the one who misunderstood Kas and you made your stupid bloody face and accused Kas saying that she intended to offend you. Ahh........ GROW UP, WOMAN. Don't be so childish. No one wants to offend you. Bullshitness of you. Don't think of yourself highly.. You shuck as a teacher. Your lessons are boring and you are a boring person. You don't deserve this "TEACHER" title. You just let us do some homework and that is already considered as teaching? IT'S NOT. I'm now missing Mr. Wong as our English teacher. How I wish he's the one who's teaching us English this year. And he's encouraging. UNLIKE YOU. Kas didn't cry because she feel wrong.. She cried because she was in such rage. You offended her by accusing her with the intention of offending you.

Aaahh.. Don't know why are these people acting like duffers....... PFFFFFFFFFFFFTTT. Should be more understanding and stop being jerks. GROW UP PEOPLE. Mind your own business okay?

Fcukshits.

=( Was super the angry. Lol. I think I scared Han... Haha. Sorry.. Then now am sad.. =(

Aaahh.. Now I'm so frustrated.. Everything's mixed up. Somehow I'm still very frustrated and irritated. Pffffffftt. 'S really fcukshit. Sigh. =( Tons of homework, can't log in Pet Society, humans, people, the fcuking advertisements for the graduation magazine.... It's like.. STRESS STRESS STRESS. Why can't the school just leave us stress-free?

Speaking of homework.. Which reminds me of Add. Maths practices and graphs, Sejarah notes chapter 1 and 2.. ='(

Why let go?

****************************************

I really cannot understand that matter. Yes. That particular matter. I mean.. What's wrong with dividing it with them? What's wrong? Why Guylian? I think Mandy should learn to appreciate life and people around her. Oh and not to mention, learn how to be a big girl.

Releasing It All Out, No.

Sigh. I feel down somehow after they said that the hotel stay's not worth and why not pay a visit to Genting instead of hotel stay.

Why can't they just be a little more tolerate? If they want to go then just GO THEMSELVES. I don't have that much energy to plan for EVERYONE. I'm TIRED of organizing stuffs like these. I'm all worn-out okay? Asking here and there, planning here and there, discussing with Wen and Kiam.. I don't like planning all these AT ALL. I just want to spend more time with my buds. What's bloody wrong with that?

WHY am I ALWAYS the one to start a trip or outing? WHY am I ALWAYS the one to choose a specific date or day? WHY can't it be OTHERS to choose? WHY can't it be OTHERS to start a trip or outing? (I know you are going to though, Ade.) WHY?

So yeah, if hotel stay costs 100 over and Genting costs 100 over too, of course Genting is more worth it. But now hotel stay costs LESS THAN Genting. So why can't they just tolerate? Fine with me if they're not going. I don't mind the absence of them. I don't even talk much to them. It's way fine with me. They have the money to go to Genting but I don't. It's RM139 excuse me, EXCLUDING the food cost and ticket. If I spent like 200 bucks straight in a trip then what the hell and how the hell am I going to pay for my fees and other stuffs in the following days and months?

They might have a better life than I'm having over here now so they will NOT understand what the fcuking hell am I going through. I need a punching bag now. Seriously.

Sigh..

Sigh. Streamyx disconnecting non stop again. Mood swings again. The thought of having the need to go to tuition makes my mood dropped even more. =( Don't like tuition. Baaaah how I wish I'm actually 17 this year. T.T Freakiness..

Count down to Christmas Eve;
5 days left. =)

Aww.

Went to Li Teik Primary. And bla and bla. Am too lazy to talk about it.
Wen came. xD And Singsing and I as usual bullied her. HAHA.
Miss me sayang. =(
Going to the camp tomorrow to help out.
And I have to like in charge of the first ice breaking game?!
Blah... I NEED HELP!
Won't be online-ing on tomorrow and Saturday I guess?
Will try to take photos of the kids that join the camp! Haha.
I'm expecting cute and fun and boisterous children......... xD
Till here! Bye!
Miss me sayang. =(

=(

I don't feel happy.
I'm not happy.
I don't like today. :(
I miss my sayang.
=(

YAY!

YAYNESS!

Haha. Went to the new Gurney today. And it's really nice. Haha. But it was very crowded.. It's new, what do you expect? Lol. Didn't get to see Ade. Didn't get to see Ah Boo as well. Ade went into the cinema and after that I didn't know what she did already. Ah Boo came when I'm going back already.. -___-

Anyway... The new wing has many new shops. NICEEE. Me love it! Haha. It's even colder than the old wing. =p The new wing has cooler air cond for now.. Haha. I don't know if it'll still be that cold after a few months. Anyway.... PARKSON'S SO BEAUTIFUL. Spectacular.

And.. Gurney management used up 17 millions for new wing. -____- That's so.. unexpected. *wOoOoOoOoOw*

Oh! I met Cikgu Low Bee Leng. She smiled at me!! And I smiled back at her. Haha. She was with her husband and daughter if I'm not mistaken. Lol. Met some form 2s too. I don't know them but I know they're form 2 of Peng Hwa. =p Met Wei Xi and Evelyn also. Haha. Mum met her friend also. Lol. Blah. OH. And I met the form 1s. The irritating ones that I didn't like.

Bought a shirt from EchoPark. YAYYYYYYYYYYYY!! Me have always loved Echo Park. ;D Got 50%. Haha. So cepat cepat buy for next year CNY first. The sizes there are damn big man. L, XL, XXL, and even XXXL! Blah. I couldn't take the L one.... If I take the L one I'll look as if I'm wearing a short dress. -____- And I think there's only a few shirts that have M size. Lol. Lucky me I found this shirt! Yay! Thank you mummy. :D

Lalalalalala~ Me like new wing~ The designs are quite nice.. :D

Going to GP on Monday again. Ah Boo's birthday. Hmm.. RM9++.. Am going broke.. :( Going to Redbox. Blah.. Don't think I'll sing. Lalala..

I'M SO BORED. Sigh. No one's on Plurk. :( Singsing can't sign in and I don't know where the hell is Ah Boo and Kiam's too lazy to on, probably.

Going to Pu Ai again this Monday for meeting. Blahh... I'M UNDER PRESSURE NOW...... I'll be the group leader of the first ice breaking game for the children camp and Singsing and I are supposed to bring the atmostphere up. WHAT THE HELL?? This is just so.. Ugh.. And I have 20 questions to think for the kids and 80 answers for the question, 4 answers for each question. BAAAAA...... This is so pressuring... :( Me no like pressure! Blah..

Kiam's coming to the camp anyway! Yay! *throws confetti and jumps around*

Friday, November 14, 2008. The Last Day I Shall Always Remember

Before I start my post.. Look at this 1 big stack of books. Sooooooooooo thick right? Right.

* * *

Friday, November 14, 2008. The last day of being a form 4 which I'll never forget.

Friday, November 14, 2008, the historical moment of PCGHS S4E. I'm sure everyone in S4E will remember this day. Although some people did absent.. Well.. I have no comment about that. It's just that.. S4E was a very-fun class. Haha. Even the teachers said that S4E people are all very closed and it's something like 'together we strive' or something like that. Lol.

Well...... Although I don't really talk much to some of them.. Haha.. Well.. We're still S4E people weren't we? Lol. I think 5 people absented today. Don't know.. Didn't look at the pemantauan book.

Brought me phone to school today and we took pictures. Haha. We didn't have the mood to take photos before recess but we started taking pictures after recess.... *snaps* During Add. Math I think? Well it didn't really matter cause OSL doesn't care. -__- *snaps again* So we went around and took photos. Haha. *snaps again* Well Kiam brought her phone too. Singsing too. Blah. Lol. And Ade was too afraid to bring her phone. -____- SEE ADE? Told you nothing'll happen. ;D But you didn't trust me. -___-

Anyway it was really very hot today. I don't know why. Maybe because we walked here and there much? No idea. Was sweating like hell. Shit. Hope I don't smell. =S

I COULDN'T FIND CYS. Grrr.... He's really good at disappearing and reappearing. -___- So ended up we didn't take any photos with him today. Blah.. Nevermind. At least we've already taken 2 pictures with him before the examinations. Haha. But I'm worry that he doesn't log in his MSN and can't send us the pictures. -____- Stupid.

Anyway.....

S4E - ME LOVE!

S4E.

* * *

Aha! I know what to get for Ah Boo's birthday already. And I shan't post it here in case Ah Boo comes here and see what is it. HA. And well.. Ade told me what her classmates planned to give her and I wasn't thrilled nor amused. Neither do Ade and Kiam. Lol. Blah blah.

Going to Pu Ai for meeting later. And I just realized something.............. I DON'T KNOW WHERE'S THE PLACE! SHIT! What the freaky. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH. Blah! That's just so stupid. Ugh. Stupid stupid! Why didn't I ask? Stupid me. *slaps head* BLAAAAAA..!

Hmm... My Streamyx's still disconnecting NON STOP. And this is so irritating and annoying. What the hell is wrong with it? Why can't it just stay connected for an hour or 2? Is there any problem staying connected for just maybe an hour or 2? STUPID PANDIS.

*DANG*

Down.

Something's really bothering me and I don't know should I express it out here. If I do I'll get lotsa advice which I don't really want to listen. Well part of me wants the someone to know about it. Hmm.. But still.. Maybe I'll just try to forget about it and welcome the coming holidays..

Sigh. Bollocks. This is just so stupid. I don't like this type of feelings. Am feeling so insecure. This type of feelings make me sick. So sick of it.

Bugger. I can't stop thinking about it. I might forget it.. But for a while only. Maybe at school. Maybe while chatting. Maybe while talking. But absolutely not when I'm blogging or listening to songs or plurking or replying comments in friendster or sms-ing.. Sigh. :( What am I gonna do?..

It's still bothering me. It won't go away. It just won't bug off. It's making me to feel guilty. But I'm NOT guilty! It's the feeling. I don't like this. I really don't like this. No one understands. No one knows. No one tries to understand. No one cares. I toll them I'm down and they didn't even ask me what happen except for 1. And so I'm left with all alone to solve it myself. Maybe I should really solve it myself. But I don't know how should I solve it. How can I solve it?

Bummer.

This sucks. This sucks a lot and it sucks big times.

Feelings come and go as they like.
-Whooi Meen