Wednesday, June 20, 2012

You don't know me that well.

Stop acting like you all know me that well when in fact you all understand nothing about me. I have my own reasons for things I do and don't do, so stop asking why and stop assuming things. I don't like explaining things to you all because none of you ever try to fucking understand or listen even though that's what you all promised, to listen and to understand. What's more, why should I explain myself to anyone at all?? As long as I myself know I'm not doing some criminal work, or on the wrong path, I do not have to explain myself at all.

But it seems like you all do not like to 'give up' on 'inquiring' my reasons for doing and not doing some things. That's where the problems come in. You may have tried to listen, but as you listen, as you talk more than I do when I'm the one supposed to talk and speak out like what you asked, you'll go waaaayyy back to the past and start telling me histories. Sorry, I can't stand you all being such a hypocrite, when in one instance you said not to think about the past and the next you start bragging about it. Before you start assuming that what she did was to hurt you, did you even give a fuck about why did she do it? No, all you all did and still do is scolding her from time to time. Not every time, but maybe once every 2 or 3 times when you all talk? DO YOU ALL FUCKING CARE HOW SHE FEELS? And I can't believe that you all are the ones that speak of LOVE all the time.

I am not sensitive, and stop saying I'm sensitive. The reason to why I did not correct you when you said I was sensitive, was because I was so sure you'll still want to argue about certain stuffs with me if I win that 'sensitive' issue. Yah I'm making my own assumption, but you do that too. Everyone that knows me knows I'm a hot tempered person. So when we start to argue, I'll easily get into this 'agony of the moment' and start firing you. And when that happens, I will, from a lovely girl, a caring girl, a nice girl, a good girl, a girl that has every respect for the elders, turns into a rude girl, a bad girl, a girl that has no respects for the elders. So what do you want me to do? Change my temper, you say. Why don't you change it for me, since it's so easily said? I'm born with it. Actually, I can control my temper, but not with you all. You all get on my nerve too much, too often, too easily.

== I don't feel like talking anymore. I just... I just felt so overwhelmed with all these emotions every time I think of how you all treat her. And I have no one to talk to, so I talk to my blog, like how Ginny and Harry talked to the old diary he found in Moaning Myrtle's toilet.

And now I'm feeling hungry again. Still craving for that same damn big plate of maggie goreng.